A Royal Mess

Yesterday I was buying groceries... okay, no it wasnt groceries it was frozen wok, wine & cookies. But well, if you are 22, living alone in Europe & speak very little German in Deutschland, you kind of earn the right to call booze & frozen goodies "groceries".
So I was standing in line in this little supermarket, missing big corporate Wal-Mart when I noticed, to my shock, that the lady chasier was from... Austria!
Okay, so before you start thinking the build up of expectations led to nowhere fantastic, since ehm, well, Austria is just a few trains away and it aint a really big deal, to me it is and let me tell you why.

Every person I guess, with a little mental free time, has ever become infatuated with something ridiculous & a little embarrasing to share with the rest of the mortals, whether it is Star Wars for the nerds, Jeremy Scott for the fashionistas, Cory Kennedy for the hipsters or Woody Allen for the high-brow intellectuals, they all push a little button that realeses fair amount of dopamine in everybody's overloaded brain. In 2008 I met my dopamine enabler... European Royal History... you can start calling me boring any time you want, but first let me tell you that in this stage of my life I became especially obsessed with promiscuous Henry VIII & the lovely Marie Antoinette. It all came down to HBO-prime-time-like stories with more complicated attires & man heels.

Marie Antoinette was born & raised in Austria, you know before all that hum... awkward french beheading situation happened. History portrairs her as a beauty to be remembered and the image of class way before the Audreys & Jackies of more modern times. Smart, blonde, beautiful & a nice dresser, the only thing that made Marie Antoinette groan at the mirror was, as I learnt in a biography about her family, her Austrian chin.
Which is actually something called "Prognathism" or colloquially speaking "Austrian Lip". So since I read that I wondered to myself if Id ever be able to spot a person from Austria just by looking, which I think I might have been able to master by now (although not everyone who has that is actually from Austria, I've choosen to believe otherwise), and this is not a judging-a-book-by-its-cover kind of situation, it is more like... judgning-a-book-by-what-other-book-told-me situation.

Since yesterday it had been months since the last time I put my austrian-spotter abilities to use, it brought me a warm hearted feeling, like bumping into a friend whose ties to each other just keep existing through online social networks. Lately, after more than a year of living in Germany, I have felt as if I had changed so much into this unrecognizable person that enjoys nothing but frozen wok, portuguese wine & 59 cent cookies. I missed my voice in my natal language, the food that makes you want to lick your own fingers in public (with no actual risk of looking like a cave-person, because probably everybody would be doing the same), I missed, well, myself. I hadnt seen me in a while, and seeing that probably Austrian old woman passing my "groceries" through the scanner with the grace of Marie Antoinette, made me want to have a little catch up with myself. Now the only thing I have to figure out is just where the hell I left me. Im sure I am somewhere, probably in my appartment, it is a mess. A royal mess.

I'm gonna love you like I've never been hurt before.

BNE

Found BNE stickers in Prague & Amsterdam so far.

Pornographic Literature

Hello my reader, shall I apologize for how I'd been slacking on my Sunday updates or can we just skip that and jump into what really got you here? ... porn literature! ... if so, keep looking because I am more of a Candace Bushnell than a Henry Miller alumn, but aujourd'hui, felt like misleading you with a controversial title, I am very sneaky indeed but not sorry.

Today I was on my daily commute to work and cockily I dare to say that I can be considered priviledged in the public transportation front since it only takes me about 6 minutes by train ;) . So as I was saying, today I was on my S9 train, with Camera Obscura playing in my ears & a pair of oversized gloves on my hands since the cold has come back home. - Welcome, chilly autumned Germany - is what I said last Sunday morning, of course I didn't get any reply, instead I got the cold shoulder (come on people, let's hear it for weather jokes)

Anyway, as I was standing there in the train, I saw this long blonde haired stranger a few meters away from me, I couldn't take my eyes off him and instantly smiled... I think he must have gotten the wrong idea because he gave me the stinky eye as if I was a tranny who had just offered him sex in exchange for his FROG HAT, which is WHY I was staring at him in the first place! I couldn't help to keep smiling because... how can someone with such bitter body language think he can pull off a frog hat, anyway? but that is not the point, my beloved & misled reader I have to be honest and say that even though the reaction I got was not very welcoming, the fact that I saw a grown man wearing an accesory in the shape of an amphibian kind of made my morning. Ok, it COMPLETELY made my day.

I know how it is a lot easier to focus on shitty things because those are like daggers thrown at our good mood & sadly sometimes they hit right in the bullseye... I read about this man from Canada a while ago, he had gotten a divorce, lost his best friend to cancer & had trouble in his job, but still everyday he would find something small that normally would go unnoticed that made him happy, like bakery smell in the morning, no waiting line in the cashier at the supermarket or a nice old song caught in the radio, he made news because he wrote a book about it, I have gold fish short-term memory and honestly I can't remember his name otherwise I would tell you (sorry).

So after this close encounter with a big fashion no-no but a great mood booster yes-yes which has made me sound fitted for an after school special, I have made a pact with myself that I'll try to find small "make me happy" things for the rest of the week, feel free to join me.

Hope you have a nice middle of the week & please stop searching for porn in here, thanks!

You can't set store in the past & expect others to live there with you.

One day, you realize you have to move the fuck on.

vengo del futuro para hablarle sin la puntuacion adecuada

Buenos domingos mi querido lector,

volvemos a escribir en español (mi alterego y yo, por eso de la conjugacion en plural)

venimos a usted sin ningun proposito en especial, solo queriamos pasar a saludarle en nuestra lengua materna ya que ultimamente hemos estado en un ambiente altamente anglosajon y esa no es manera de tratarle a usted mi queridisimo y ferviente lector escondido.

bueno eso y tambien quisiera regalarle hoy domingo una lectura suavesita y sin sentido como esas que me encantan (mi alterego acaba de salir del cuarto, por eso del singular) y sin querer hacerle pensar mucho. sabe que mi adoradisimo, ultimamente me ha matado la idea de que PIENSO TODO DEMASIADO y asi no se debe ir por la vida, dandole doble sentido a las acciones simples y cuestionando todo lo que nos llega y secretamente disfrutar sentirme triste de repente porque "SOY TAN PROFUNDA". iiik la cosa es que honestamente no, solo tengo mucho tiempo libre mental porque nunca le pongo atencion a nadie. JA! .. desde aqui oigo como muchos corazones se rompieron. o tal vez mi alterego esta rompiendo cosas en mi casa de nuevo. es su hobbie, destrozar cristaleria, no la juzgo porque me cae bien, pero creo que deberia conseguirse algo nuevo que hacer algo asi como combatir el crimen o practicar el acordeon. Dios sabe que ambas habilidades nos hacen mucha falta en estos tiempos de incertidumbre.

juzgue por usted mismo si lo que a continuacion le dire es real o imaginario

hace poco conoci a una chica que trabaja en Chanel, muy bonita y sorprendentemente simpatica como para ser subdita de Lagerfeld, pero no empieze a aventarle prejuicios de cajon solo porque trabaja para un hombre que cree que comer esta por debajo de el, sino que SOLAMENTE esta en ese trabajo hasta que consiga su licencia de piloto de helicopteros mata zombies y terroristas. ok, no mata zombies ni terroristas. pero creo que es en extremo ... COOL (adioooos credibilidad que me dieron las palabras rebuscadas de 50 centavos) que una chica esta en la escuela de pilotos de helicopteros. se me hace como esos sueños de cuando te preguntaba la maestra Patty de Preprimaria "A" que querias ser de grande y tu mientras ignorabas las voces interiores de tu alterego (o solo era yo?) decias algo de acuerdo a tu edad como CANTANTE o GESTOR DE CUENTAS A PAGAR... y luego al final terminas estudiando algo mundano como ingenieria encosasmuydificiles o licenciado en ojalahubieraentradoalaescueladediseño.

creo que es admirable la gente que no deja sus sueños en los brazos de la maestra Patty y que en verdad hace algo al respecto, que nos paso que de repente nos dejamos comer por el mundo corporativo?? ... uy ya ven lo que les digo que pienso demasiado, esta vez se lo juro mi lector incredulo, fue sin querer!

(pase a disculpar las evidentes faltas de correcta puntuacion y acentos correspondientes pero estoy en computadora ajena y soy una habitante del futuro (7 horas adelante de usted)... y eso aqui no existe ): )

hoy fue un día horrible. necesito un abrazo

en el 2007 yo tenia un mejor amigo. ese mejor amigo también era mi novio. fue una relación para recordar, a pesar de que honestamente ya se me olvido casi todo. al final el me abandonó y me quede sola, la peor parte no era ser soltera, sino haber perdido a alguien que se había vuelto mi familia. mi mejor amigo. la verdad es que aunque necesitaba que me dejara para ser feliz y encontrarme a mi misma, nunca se lo perdone. pero eso ya que importa si nos ignoramos lo suficiente y nos mandamos mails de cumpleaños para poder decir que estamos en buenos terminos.

en el 2009 conocí a alguien fisicamente identico a él. cuyo resultado se terminó conviertiendo en el mismo sans los mails de cumpleaños.

mi teoría es que la gente que se parece normalmente actua igual, y honestamente ya me lo esperaba.